Capture Your Grief - Day 3: Myths

There are so many myths surrounding grief - some are myths perpetuated by society and those around us offering their own perspective on what grief 'SHOULD' look like... but many are myths we create ourselves which may or may not be helpful to our journey. I could try to list them... that there is a specific process and stages you will experience, that it will take a certain amount of time for you to 'bounce back', that you shouldn't smile or find humour in any aspect of life during the grieving process, that if you fail to remember your baby EVERY waking moment there is something wrong with you..... I could go on and on and on... but the truth is that GRIEF is different for every single person and what my experience of grief is will be very different from yours, although we may share some common feelings.

One of my own personal myths - created by my own perceptions and ideals - has been that I needed to remember every little detail about that single moment in time when Mikaila was born. I needed to remember every single detail about her.

But the truth is TIME DOES NOT STAND STILL... time is fluid and flowing and continues to move regardless of what we are feeling or doing or being.

What I have come to realise over the years is that memory fades. Those moments in time that have tremendous impact on us will stay with us and remain much clearer and stronger than many others, but they do fade... and that's ok. I still remember the most important parts of that moment. The love and heartbreak, the anticipation, the hope and the utter devastation and emptiness that followed...

The details are no longer so important to me... Mikaila lives in my heart, she always will, just as my 4 living children do. Time - no matter how much of it passes - will never change THAT detail.